CANADIAN GARRET

So you want to be a man of the arts young fart
A recognized entity in our tenuous identity
Here’s some hints for a start if you’re smart
What courses have you taken
Or vices forsaken?
An old stint in the joint
Reformed is a point
And have you paid your dues?
Joined the clubs
Expressed your views?
And attended well agendaed committee meetings too?
D’you know the trendy perturbations
Of literary masturbations?
Or the avante garde of yesteryear
That permanent ersatz frontier?
Council grant’applications?
Do not despair of machinations
It’s all fair you will learn
When finally it’s your turn
There’s fund transfusions
For failing forms
So old elites retain their norms
And if your talents are more prosaic
There’s cementing tiles in our mosaic
And you’ll find there’s plenty pence
For esoteric obscure nonsense